Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Jens Lekman contracts swine flu and is quarantined


Oh You're So Sickly Jens

In rather surprising news, Swedish singer-songwriter/overall softy Jens Lekman has confirmed that he has contracted the disease causing an international shit-storm - SWINE FLU.

From Lekman's blog:
"I picked home one last souvenir from South America, it's called the H1N1 virus. Wrongfully known as the Swineflue.

I was crossing the Atlantic when things started getting really bad, the fever was hallucinogenic and shaking me like a leaf and I grabbed the sleeve of the Air France steward. "I'm not feeling well, I should see a doctor" I said and the reply came as a brilliant mix of death anxiety and french rudeness: "Uh, yes... Terminal D... go there maybe... when we land". After that the stewards and stewardesses took long detours. A ring of empty seats formed around me. Peoples eyes were kind but determined, they read "Poor you, I really wish you all the best but if you come near me or my kid I will have to stab you with this plastic fork". I got up and went to the bathroom where I fainted.

Now I'm in quarantine for ten days. I can see the summer through my window and it's just perfect. Summer is always best through a window"

Oh Jens. I's sorry about the times that I've said you're weak, weak man that would probably get knocked over by a feather. You are a stronger man than me because of this.

Hopefully Jens doesn't go the way of the Billy Mays and kicks the bucket, showing us that the Hollywood plague also affects soft indie rockers from Sweden.

Jens will most likely be well. He is quarantined, and I do believe they have banging health care over there. Jens will back before we know it and please write a song about how you fell in love with that doctor in the full body quarantine suit. And do it in the style of "A Postcard to Nina". I need an ironic laugh.


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